I lost my inspiration

For some time now, I have been digging deep to spark up some inspiration. I seem to have lost that connection with my inner self. Life’s daily distractions have depleted me of my own creativity. I have been looking in all the old familiar places to find it, and still nothing. It wasn’t until after a long emotional Winter that changed over into Spring that I finally had a thought. It was today. I was in the grocery store. I had this idea. It’s about life, dealing with change, dealing with loss, and dealing with starting over again. So here it is. Everything about this shoot was intentional. I never shoot like this anymore. I know it’s not ground breaking, but it’s coming from my heart and it’s genuine.

Pain and Loss

Letting Go

Starting over

Pain and Loss: We are staring at cancer in the face of someone we love and it is eye opening. The fear of loss is heavy.

Letting Go: Coming to understand that we have to leave things behind. Life carries on.

Starting Over: Adapting and growing into someone new.

Shooting with intention:
I decided to be my own subject, since it’s my emotions I wanted to depict. I also wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone. I always joke that I hide behind my hair, so with each image little by little I come out from behind it. I chose the pink seamless because it’s feminine and I wanted to embrace that. I always try not to be too “girly”, and I am not sure why. I wanted to be proud of loving pink. Pink is also symbolic of birth. This is my rebirth after a long lonely winter. I shot using the rule of thirds. If you know me, you know my need for symmetry. I wanted to push past that this time. I also shot at F8 using my favorite lens, the 35mm. I used the smaller aperture, because I wanted to play on both sides of Pictorialism and Straight Photography. The images themselves could be considered Painterly, but because I shot them as is and all in focus they could also be Straight Photography. (too much to get into now, but maybe another blog) I used the butterfly bush from my back yard to make the crown in “Pain and Loss”. It’s significant because although it’s dark and sad right now, it will bring new life to my yard soon. I also used my Helleborus in “Starting Over”, because they bloom in the coldest of months. They pop up through the snow showing signs of what’s to come. I only wanted 3 images to get the message across. I didn’t want to over shoot it. “Pain and Loss” was the 3rd shot taken, “Letting Go” was the 2nd, and “Starting over” was the 5th. My set up was a disaster zone, but my intention was to shoot it all by myself. I could have used a few hands, but that too was symbolic of doing things for yourself. I shot with natural light, to keep it real. I see them hanging in my hallway to remind me of the struggle to find my inspiration, and that eventually it did come back.